New Poem

Oh man, my life is crazy. Anyway, here is poem three for my poetry class. The assignment was to draw a picture using water colors and then from that pictures write a poem. So, I drew a picture of a beach and this is the poem I created.

My Favorite Beach

I remember how it made me feel
every time I'd watch the sunset
my cares would evaporate with the colors

When I was growing up
I used to jog there for hours
leaving my fears behind me

At night the moon would stand high
reflecting on the water
and the world would stop around me

You took me there once

We walked for hours
your hand entangled in mine
the way I thought our bodies should be

And as we kissed
your hands were wrapped in my hair
and I felt it

I used to know you

And now as I lay by myself
I wonder where the time has gone
and who the boy I once loved has become
--Written 9/21/05

Today I Remembered...

Here's poem two for my poetry class. It's hard to describe the actual assignment so the poem will seem really weird and random out of context, but just know that it was written to fit the assignment. Anyway, you'll know what it is about... but it is not about me (like most of the poems I have written).

Today I Remembered
I can't stop thinking about you
and it's driving me insane
You still haunt me every day
in this world of pain

My life is so different without you
which is the way it has to be
I'm filled with so much anger now
about the way you treated me

Today I saw originality
it reminded me of you
the way you came up with excuses
for everything you'd do

Today I saw silverware
such a simple thing
but it reminded me of all the threats
and how much the cuts would sting

Today I saw an animal trapped
that's how I felt when we dated
you would do things just to piss me off
thing you know I hated

Today I saw a bird shit
it splattered everywhere
it reminded me of your shit
how you pretended to care

But then I saw him put his arm around her
and kiss her gently on the head
it reminded me of how sweet you could be
how gently you'd hold me in bed

And I saw him look at her
and whisper softly in her ear
it reminded me of the times you held me
softly telling me I had nothing to fear

I saw him reach for her
and gently take her hand
you had such a power over me
that I will never understand

But then I saw her pull away
with pain in her eyes
and I remembered who you really are
I remembered all the lies

I remembered all the bruises
and all the tears I cried
I remembered the night you beat me so hard
that night I almost died

I remember all the hospital visits
the times I "fell down the stairs"
all the excuses I'd come up with
and you convinced me that nobody cares

I remember how you'd grab my arm
Leaving bruises from squeezing so tight
and the times you'd throw things at me
or how often I cried through the night

I remember the sound of the door slamming
the smell of alcohol on your breath
the taste of cigarettes when you kissed me
oh, how you used to make me wish for death
--Written 9/15/05

my poetry

I apologize for not blogging this week. School hit me kind of hard. Anyway, I will continue with my posts tomorrow.

For now, I want to share my poetry. I am in a poetry writing class and I love it. Our assignment that is due on Tuesday is to write a poem based on a line in a book we read. I am currently reading a book called "Abortion's Second Victim." I chose a line out of the book and wrote a poem about it. So here it is (critiques are appreciated).

To Bethany Ann
I was only sixteen
Alone in the world
And scared for your life
And my own
I had been hurt
I didn't know what to do
How to take care of you
Or myself
I took the test at week seven
Until then I was in denial
After, I was still in denial
Still alone
At week nine I heard your heartbeat
And I cried for days
How could your heart beat so strong
When mine had stopped
At week thirteen I saw a picture
Your body taking form
I started to gain weight
I was so scared
At week fourteen the nurse told me
You were my baby girl
I threw myself down the stairs that day
What else could I do?
By week fifteen you had a name
Bethany Ann, I called you
Bethany--the town where Jesus rose Lazurus
Would he raise you?
By week sixteen it was over
I sat in church and cried
I was convinced it was for the best
But you were gone
I never got to see your eyes
Or the color of your hair
I miss you more every day
And once again, I am alone.
--Written 9/9/05

how dare i?

It's crazy. I have been so cut off from the world recently. It reminds me of when I was at Calvin and all my friends became part of what we called the "Calvin Bubble." Really, this is what college does to you. You get so wrapped up in your own life, caught up in your own busyness that you forget to check out what is going on around you. Since I don't watch tv, I have to go out of my way to check out cnn.com once a week. Anyway, this week I had kind of heard a bit about what was happening in the south, but I never realized how huge of a deal it was until I got online last night to check out cnn.com. I sat at my computer and cried as I was reading news stories and looking a pictures. While my roommates turned up their dance music and had fun dancing and running around the house, people's lives where drastically changing. While I was sitting comfortably on bed eating my dinner with my laptop on my lap, people are dying because they are still stuck in the floods. Fires are breaking out, ruining any remains there might have been. A whole city is starving and homeless. It's ridiculous. And then I complain about the gas prices being over $3, worried it will go up to $4. How can I be so self-absorbed? How can I complain about anything when there are babies sleeping on cardboard boxes? The hospitals in New Orleans have no power, no water and no food. People are dying while waiting to be evacuated. Dead bodies have been seen throughout the city, floating throughout the water. And I lay comfortably in my bed complaining about how my back hurts... how dare I?

DAY 6

SIMPLE PLEASURES...

We are in Venice! U am seeing places I thought I would in see in my dreams! I am in awe of the beauty. We got here at 7:30 and took the hour long bus ride from Treviso into Venice. Then we took a boat ride down the canal. We wandered around for a bit looking for a hostel that we could afford but the two we tried were full. Luckily one guy made a call for use and led us to a hotel. The following is Wendy's version of what the conversation probably sounded like (since we don't know because the guy spoke in Italian... imagine that).

Here's a probable transcript of the conversation:
Receptionist: "Hey, Giuseppe."
Giuseppe: "What's going on, Paolo?"
R: "I've got two crazy American girls here who look like they've just been regurgitated by an angry whale. I don't want them staying in my hotel, but I know you're a pretty nice guy. Would you be willing to take them off my hands?"
G: "You say they're American?"
R: "Yes, and they look horrible."
G: (sigh) "Well, I'd rather not; it's not great for business. But I don't want their blood on my hands. Send them over."
R: "Thanks, man. You're a peach."

So we got to our new hotel--one room, two beds, air conditioning, private bath, phone in the room, and much more. All for sixty euros! The guy at the reception counter suddenly became our new hero. We must have looked incredibly pathetic; we were so excited to be able to shower. Then I asked him what time we needed to check out.
"11am" he said, "but you can leave your bags here all day"
"really?" I sighed. "Thank you so much!" I suddenly had the urge to hug him. But I refrained.

I took a bath while Wendy did her laundry in the sink and then we swapped. Then I went to a nearby bakery and bought two waters and two pizzettes (mini-pizzas) for 3.50 euros. Cheapest meal yet (we got ripped off in Rome). After we woke up we set off to Piazza San Marco which was great and there where thousands of pigeons everywhere. It's funny how being a tourist can make every day things (ex. pigeons) seem exciting. Wendy and I just walked around Venice for a while. Then we went to a pizza place near our hotel where we bought pizza and lots of beer. I don't think beer has ever tasted so good to me before. We were so hot and sweaty. Now we sit in our air conditioned hotel room, reminiscing about all the nice people we have come in contact with. Italy is wonderful. I will be say to leave tomorrow.