This is where I spent my summer but more importantly where Ari, Celeste and I will be visiting April 10-20, 2006!!!
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10.30.2005
10.29.2005
Number Eighteen
The other day night I was getting ready for my bed as my housemate, Matthew, was downstairs on my laptop. I heard him saying little things like "ooohhh mike lombardo!" which made me know he was reading my blog. He kept making little comments and by the time I had gone down there to pick a fight he said, "Number eighteen is my favorite!"
So I read number eighteen -- Even though I always talk about how I never want kids – secretly, the older I get the more I know I want to be a mom some day.
"Why do you like that one?" I ask.
"Because I think you will make a great mom some day," says Matthew.
That was one of the best compliments I have ever gotten in my life. He doesn't know this, but one of the reasons I never wanted to have kids was because I am terrified I will be a bad mom and I don't want to screw up some poor kids life because they had me for a mother. That would be so sad. So, to hear Matthew say that made meant a lot to me and I thought I would share it with you.
Thanks Matthew!
So I read number eighteen -- Even though I always talk about how I never want kids – secretly, the older I get the more I know I want to be a mom some day.
"Why do you like that one?" I ask.
"Because I think you will make a great mom some day," says Matthew.
That was one of the best compliments I have ever gotten in my life. He doesn't know this, but one of the reasons I never wanted to have kids was because I am terrified I will be a bad mom and I don't want to screw up some poor kids life because they had me for a mother. That would be so sad. So, to hear Matthew say that made meant a lot to me and I thought I would share it with you.
Thanks Matthew!
Just to clear things up
Okay Okay - It's not that I do not like ALIAS anymore. It is that I don't really watch the fifth season and if it werent for me having to tape it for a friend - I would probably not even think twice about watching it. I still love seasons 1-4.... so don't be too dissapointed in me!!
10.27.2005
Confessions
There is a girl that I have never met, but I feel like I know her well. When I was in
2- When I was a kid I would dream about going to the Olympics and winning a gold medal. I would even act out how I would react when I won.
3- When we were kids I always felt like I shouldn’t get along with my brothers, so I would call Christopher dumbo (his ears were huge!) and annoy Mike because I didn’t know how else to tell them I loved them.
4- When my brother, Christopher, and I emptied the dishes in our house we would fight over who would empty the top rack and who emptied the bottom because neither of us likes the feeling of glass on our fingers.
5- I once stuck a knife in a toaster and didn’t have feeling in my left hand for days, but I was too afraid my parents would be mad so I never told them.
6- I have never been skinny dipping.
7- My first kiss was in kindergarten with my neighbor – Mike Lombardo.
8- My first real kiss was when I was fourteen with my best friend’s cousin (who’s name was also Mike).
9- I have a very visual mind, so whenever people tell stories I am actually visualizing everything they are saying. That explains why phrases like “bust a gut” make me laugh so hard.
10- I used to manipulate the security guards at my high school – I would talk to them and become friends with them and then when I wanted to get away with stuff I always did because they didn’t believe that I could/would do anything wrong.
11- When I talk to people on instant messenger I actually laugh out loud when I am by myself (and when people are around).
12- Christopher likes to tell a story about how he chased me around the house with a rope tied around me and then told me to go upstairs and how once I got up there he picked up the rope and pulled me down. I always act like I think he is really mean for doing that too me but deep down I think he was clever and wish I had come up with that idea.
13- My favorite childhood cartoon was Carebears. I still get REALLY excited when I see them.
14- When I was sixteen, I got into a minor care accident. Since I didn’t get a ticket and it didn’t go on my record I just tell people it wasn’t my fault. In reality, it probably was.
15- I used to be addicted to watching ALIAS (The tv show). I don’t really like it anymore, but since I got so many other people addicted to watching it, I feel like I still have to.
16- My brother’s favorite game is boggle – I don’t really like it that much but I tell everyone I love it because I feel like it gives me another way to connect to him.
17- Sometimes I make up excuses to go over to my parents house because I don’t want to admit that I actually enjoy just visiting with them (emphasis on sometimes).
18- Even though I always talk about how I never want kids – secretly, the older I get the more I know I want to be a mom some day.
19- When my brother and I fought over doing the dishes we would always end up taking big, sharp knives out and chasing each other around the house.
20- Chicken is the only meat I eat. I have never told anyone that I don’t actually like chicken either. It is just easier to say, “sure I eat chicken” then, “I hate all meat, including chicken. Oh yeah, and I don’t eat fish.” No one would ever invite me over for meals.
10.25.2005
I'm excited
Rob Bell, the pastor at my former church in Grand Rapids, Michicgan (Mars hill Bible Church) is coming to the Borders in Danada this Thursday at 7:30 to show his newest Nooma video and talk about his book Velvet Elvis. You should all go!
Retraction
just so everyone knows -- it was not Heather who would fall off the curbs during our walks... it was me. Heather would always talk about how she wanted to bring a video camera on our walks because at least once a walk (usually more often) I would do something absolutely ridiculous. Yes, yes... I know most of you are not surprised. Most of my humor comes from the stupid things I do...
10.21.2005
Top Ten Highlights of the Week
10-Long conversations with Andrea
9-Winning a free mcflurry at mcdonalds
8-My best friend turned 21
7-Finally being able to call Ari my boyfriend and not have it be weird
6-Playing volleyball at college group
5-Late night humor with Matthew
4-Getting to see Ann
3-Getting a rose
2-Going into the city with Matthew and Ari
1-Running through the sprinklers at Buger King with Ari
10.19.2005
4,208.2 miles aways
Today I was really missing my friends. I heard someone make a really cheesy pun and all I could think was "that was a Troy joke" and I wanted it to be Troy who actually made the joke and I wanted Heather to be here with me so we could roll our eyes together and I can tease her and say "Hey, you're the one who married him..." Alas, my friends are thousands of miles away. I found out today that the distance between Glen Ellyn, IL and Madrid (Barajas) is 4,208.2 miles. That is so far away.
So I dedicate this post to my dear friends who are 4,208.2 miles away from me... here are just some of the things I miss...
-Hearing Heather yelling at Lexi over and over again only to have it end with "Troy, come yell at the dog"
-Troy's ridiculous puns that I could not help but laugh at
-Heather's and my daily walks (I think Heather was the one who would trip on the curb all the time... it was hillarious)
-Troy's and my commercial-- Jam-off: whenever you're in a jam, get the jam.
-Just a quote to add to the above-- "there's even salami on the wall!"
-Cafe con helado every Tuesday with Heather
-Sausage man (I'll leave it at that)
-Great conversations with Heather on our way to pick up the kids from school
-Great conversations with Troy on our way to community group every Monday
-Swimming at the pool with Meg and Nic
-Listening to music in the mornings while eating my toast and drinking my coffee (I usually had the orange cup!)
-Watching movies almost every night
-Trying to get that darn tv to stay on
-Talking on instant messenger with Heather while she sat in the same room as me
-Watching Tom and Gerry with the kids
-Heather's homemade pizza
-The way Nic would copy everything his dad would do
-The way Meg would asks her questions in a brittish way (so adorable)
-Meg's sly ways
-Nic's laughter
-Candyland and freeze tag
-My square meals that Troy was so afraid I wasn't getting
-And so much more
So I dedicate this post to my dear friends who are 4,208.2 miles away from me... here are just some of the things I miss...
-Hearing Heather yelling at Lexi over and over again only to have it end with "Troy, come yell at the dog"
-Troy's ridiculous puns that I could not help but laugh at
-Heather's and my daily walks (I think Heather was the one who would trip on the curb all the time... it was hillarious)
-Troy's and my commercial-- Jam-off: whenever you're in a jam, get the jam.
-Just a quote to add to the above-- "there's even salami on the wall!"
-Cafe con helado every Tuesday with Heather
-Sausage man (I'll leave it at that)
-Great conversations with Heather on our way to pick up the kids from school
-Great conversations with Troy on our way to community group every Monday
-Swimming at the pool with Meg and Nic
-Listening to music in the mornings while eating my toast and drinking my coffee (I usually had the orange cup!)
-Watching movies almost every night
-Trying to get that darn tv to stay on
-Talking on instant messenger with Heather while she sat in the same room as me
-Watching Tom and Gerry with the kids
-Heather's homemade pizza
-The way Nic would copy everything his dad would do
-The way Meg would asks her questions in a brittish way (so adorable)
-Meg's sly ways
-Nic's laughter
-Candyland and freeze tag
-My square meals that Troy was so afraid I wasn't getting
-And so much more
10.18.2005
Walking through fire
Last night I was feeling really depressed. It just seemed like it was one thing after another. I was babysitting all day but ended up being the worst babysitter ever. I had a migrane that had been with me from the day before. On top of the pain in my head, my back AND knee were both flaring up and in pain (don't know why). Then I just started getting really down on myself. I saw someone I definitely did not want to be seeing (for those of you who would understand, his name is Ryan). Then I came back home to my house hoping to find some solace--instead I found hurt. One of my roommates is so upset with me she refuses to talk to me. The hardest thing about it is that it is all a misunderstanding but she won't hear me out. So now, I am left feeling like crap. There were a bunch of other little things that just had me flustered, but I won't go into those details right now because those things are not the point of this post.
So after my long, exhausting day, I went to a park near my house. One of my favorite parks. I find myself coming here when I just need an escape from the world. So I went to this park and sat at a bench near the lake, facing the sunset. I brought my Bible and read a bunch of different things. First I opened up to Nehemia - the book my community group studied while I was in Spain. I opened up to the part where it talked about the rebuilding of the wall and I remembered all the conversations we had as a community group about restoration of hope. Hope, something we all lose at some time but if we are faithful God will restore it in us. "Restore a hope in me" I prayed and He restored hope in me last night.
Then I opened up to Matthew were we are told that we are not to worry. How can we add a minute to our life by worrying? If God takes care of the sparrows (who are just animals) then how much more will he take care of us whom he loves. Thus we should not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Hmm 'nuff said.
These are all great things, but the thing that I really want to tell you about is what happened next. I looked up for a while and stared at the sky and the beauty of the sunset reflecting off the water. I remember thinking something along the lines of "wow, the sunset looks like a fire... oh, to walk through a fire right now--even that would be better than this," and I started to cry. I felt so lost, so alone. Then I was I spoke outloud to my Father and said "okay, God, I know you are here. Tell me what you want me to hear." Then I open my Bible up to Isaiah 43 and the first thing I read is "When you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, the flames will not consume you"
So I kept reading these lines over and over again--
Thus says the Lord he who created you, he who formed you; fear not for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, the flames will not consume you.
Wow.
The above verse reminds me of my favorite psalm--psalm 139.
O LORD, you have searched me and you know me...
Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in--behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me...
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me, even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...
Isn't that an amazing fact we should all be reminding ourselves of daily?
So after my long, exhausting day, I went to a park near my house. One of my favorite parks. I find myself coming here when I just need an escape from the world. So I went to this park and sat at a bench near the lake, facing the sunset. I brought my Bible and read a bunch of different things. First I opened up to Nehemia - the book my community group studied while I was in Spain. I opened up to the part where it talked about the rebuilding of the wall and I remembered all the conversations we had as a community group about restoration of hope. Hope, something we all lose at some time but if we are faithful God will restore it in us. "Restore a hope in me" I prayed and He restored hope in me last night.
Then I opened up to Matthew were we are told that we are not to worry. How can we add a minute to our life by worrying? If God takes care of the sparrows (who are just animals) then how much more will he take care of us whom he loves. Thus we should not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Hmm 'nuff said.
These are all great things, but the thing that I really want to tell you about is what happened next. I looked up for a while and stared at the sky and the beauty of the sunset reflecting off the water. I remember thinking something along the lines of "wow, the sunset looks like a fire... oh, to walk through a fire right now--even that would be better than this," and I started to cry. I felt so lost, so alone. Then I was I spoke outloud to my Father and said "okay, God, I know you are here. Tell me what you want me to hear." Then I open my Bible up to Isaiah 43 and the first thing I read is "When you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, the flames will not consume you"
So I kept reading these lines over and over again--
Thus says the Lord he who created you, he who formed you; fear not for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, the flames will not consume you.
Wow.
The above verse reminds me of my favorite psalm--psalm 139.
O LORD, you have searched me and you know me...
Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in--behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me...
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me, even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...
Isn't that an amazing fact we should all be reminding ourselves of daily?
10.15.2005
My life in a nutshell
(HELP I'M IN A NUTSHELL AND I CAN'T GET OUT!)
Well- sorry. I have been missing in action for the last three or four weeks. My life has been a crazy whirlwind of events and I just have not figured out how to find time to do anything.
My classes have been wonderful but a lot of work. Every time I start up a new semester, I forget how much work actually has to be put into my classes in order to do well. But I am doing well and loving it.
Babysitting has also been quite the adventure. I love these boys. They really keep me going throughout my week. They remind me what it means to just love without condition and trust without questions. In other words to have "faith like a child." I am reminded why Jesus loved the children so much. Plus... (breaking out into song) "I believe the children are our future..." haha.
Some more news that may shock a bunch of people and may not surprise the rest. I officially have a boyfriend. That is kind of crazy to say. Kind of fun too. So this amazing guy's name is Ari and he is pretty much one of the greatest things that has happened to me. I am sure there will be more on that another time.
I also got to meet my niece for the first time. She is six months old and my sister-in-law flew in from Arizona last week with Cassandra Grace. That was pretty great. She is beautiful (and definitely a Thomas baby, which I love). She looks so much like my brother. I can't believe my brother is a daddy. We are all getting so old.
More than ever these last couple weeks I have been feeling the love of my family. I am quite possibly one of the luckiest people in the world. Every day I come home and have at least five emails from my cousins (although lately it's been more like 20-30 emails a day-no exaggeration). My family is incredibly unique and I feel more blessed than ever to be a part of it. Despite the fact that they have caused me to become deaf (because they are so stinking loud) and they can some times be a real pain in the rear... I love 'em.
And so, there is my life.
My goal now is to keep posting regularly again. I hope I can stick to it.
Well- sorry. I have been missing in action for the last three or four weeks. My life has been a crazy whirlwind of events and I just have not figured out how to find time to do anything.
My classes have been wonderful but a lot of work. Every time I start up a new semester, I forget how much work actually has to be put into my classes in order to do well. But I am doing well and loving it.
Babysitting has also been quite the adventure. I love these boys. They really keep me going throughout my week. They remind me what it means to just love without condition and trust without questions. In other words to have "faith like a child." I am reminded why Jesus loved the children so much. Plus... (breaking out into song) "I believe the children are our future..." haha.
Some more news that may shock a bunch of people and may not surprise the rest. I officially have a boyfriend. That is kind of crazy to say. Kind of fun too. So this amazing guy's name is Ari and he is pretty much one of the greatest things that has happened to me. I am sure there will be more on that another time.
I also got to meet my niece for the first time. She is six months old and my sister-in-law flew in from Arizona last week with Cassandra Grace. That was pretty great. She is beautiful (and definitely a Thomas baby, which I love). She looks so much like my brother. I can't believe my brother is a daddy. We are all getting so old.
More than ever these last couple weeks I have been feeling the love of my family. I am quite possibly one of the luckiest people in the world. Every day I come home and have at least five emails from my cousins (although lately it's been more like 20-30 emails a day-no exaggeration). My family is incredibly unique and I feel more blessed than ever to be a part of it. Despite the fact that they have caused me to become deaf (because they are so stinking loud) and they can some times be a real pain in the rear... I love 'em.
And so, there is my life.
My goal now is to keep posting regularly again. I hope I can stick to it.
10.03.2005
Together
Here is poem four.
Together
layer by layer
you unwrap me
with your soft eyes
and gentle smile
I long to know you more.
one by one
you remove my masks
making me feel naked
and vulnerable
I ache to be in your arms.
you held me close yesterday
and I couldn't catch my breath
you whispered in my ear
and I felt my heart racing
I yearn to touch your face.
I want to love you
and wrap my body in yours
and ride away into the sunset
knowing that only one thing is right
You and me.
Together.
-Written 10/1/05
Together
layer by layer
you unwrap me
with your soft eyes
and gentle smile
I long to know you more.
one by one
you remove my masks
making me feel naked
and vulnerable
I ache to be in your arms.
you held me close yesterday
and I couldn't catch my breath
you whispered in my ear
and I felt my heart racing
I yearn to touch your face.
I want to love you
and wrap my body in yours
and ride away into the sunset
knowing that only one thing is right
You and me.
Together.
-Written 10/1/05
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