first attraction

Yesterday, Ari and I went out for table side guacamole at Cozymels (which was amazing, by the way). When we were there we were talking about how Ari has never dated a girl he was friends with first. I said, "yeah but we were friends before we started dating" and he told me that that was kind of true and that even though we were friends he always knew that he wanted to date me. Which I didn't actually know. I started thinking about when I realized I wanted to be dating Ari and after thinking about it this is what I decided. One of the first things that attracted me to him was when he decided he wanted to come up to Michigan with me, when he barely even knew me. But the day I knew I could date him was a month before we started dating. The weekend after Michigan. Here's the story...

A group of us drove up to Lake Geneva in Wisconsin and rented a boat and went tubing and water skiing and whatnot. That ended up being one of the best days ever! Then we were driving home and Ari was driving and I was in the front seat and it was 12:30am and I saw some sprinklers on the side of the road so I said, "lets go run through the sprinklers" half joking. Ari said "okay" and pulled over the car. We both got out (everyone in the back was sleeping) and ran through the sprinklers and got back in the car. It was awesome.

Almost everyone who knows me knows that I constantly say things like that secretly hoping that people will do crazy things with me but knowing that they will always so no. Well, from that day on I could always count on Ari to be crazy and random with me. Which made me quickly fall for him.

Grandma Dedic

When I was growing up, and still to this day, I alway had a kind of second family; the Dedics. Madeleine and Ken were my (as Erika would say) back up mom and dad. Carrie was the only sister I ever knew and Kenny was just like another brother (as if I needed any more). When I was a kid I remember seeing grandma dedic at all of the big gatherings at the dedic's house and I loved it. She was always such a wonderful person. I remember how her eyes lit up whenever one of her grandchildren walked into the room and how she genuinly cared about each and every family member, and that included the Thomas'. She made me feel special. She was different than any other person I knew. It wasn't that I ever liked her more than my grandmas (my grandmas are pretty wonderful as well), it was just that I enjoyed being in her presence. I enjoyed the atmosphere that she brought with her everywhere she went. As I grew older I learned to appreciate her sense of humor and quick wit. I loved her a lot and always thought of her as another grandma of my own. When my mom called me on Tuesday to tell me that she had passed away, I tried so hard to not let it bother me. I tried so hard not to cry (which I think bothered Ari a lot). Then I went to the wake on Thursday and avoided the casket and told myself I was just there to be a friend to the Dedics. Then yesterday was the funeral. I lost it. I barely made it through the hymn they sang in the very begining. The thing was, as I looked around at all of Grandma Dedic's children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren my heart grew heavy. This amazing woman had an impact on so many people. Every one she came in contact with were deeply touched by her love. And it made me sad to know that whoever I marry will never get the opportunity to be loved by her. And if I ever have kids they wont get the chance to love her as much as I do. And then I started thinking about how much she suffered in her life. Through all the health problems and cancer and everything else, and she survived and lived her life... 91 years of her life. And now she is in Heaven with her Lord whom she loved so much, which just made me cry harder. But this time they were tears of joy. Tears rejoicing the fact that she had such a fulfilled 91 years of life. Rejoicing that she had so many people at her funeral that loved her and so many people who couldn't make it who loved her and were so deeply impacted by her.

So, in parting I just want to say...

We little knew that morning
God was going to call your name
In life we loved you dearly
In death we do the same
It broke our hearts to lose you
You did not go alone
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home

You left us beautiful memories
Your love is still our guide
And though we cannot see you
You are always at our side

Our family chain is broken
And nothing seems the same
But as God calls us one by one
The chain will link again.
-Author unknown

NEW PICS!

I just uploaded a bunch of pictures onto my website. To view them click here -- my photos

The new albums are:
New Years Eve--I went to a a family party at Aunt Cheryl's house which was, as always, really fun. Goodbye Ann--One of my best friends, Ann, went to Yemen for language school. This was her last night (well, her last night was spent with family, this was the night before her last night)
Fun times--These are mainly pics of fun times shared with my friends. From Ari and me just being us to a group of us driving up to Wisconsin for dinner to random pictures of random people. But it's fun! :) check them out

So jealous (but in a good way)

My cousin, Justin, is spending his semester in Australia. He is taking a bunch of great classes and doing a bunch of "once in a lifetime" things. Last week, he learned how to surf. How cool is that? Okay, for me, that is really cool, since learning to surf is on my list of things I want to do before I die. But seriously, this cousin of mine is now taking the month of February to travel (and he is miraculously only missing one class). So, he leaves for the Outback today and will be there for five days. Then next week he is going to Tasmania for five days. Then off to Caims for five days. And finally to Whitsunday Islands for three days. Did I mention that on his way to Australia he stopped for a week in Fiji and on his way home he will be in New Zealand for a week and a half? Man....

So, why am I telling you all of this? Because the way this trip is changing my cousin is humbling. He quickly adapted to the culture and idea of "no worries." He is enjoying the little things in life. He is off learning to surf and traveling and still getting schoolwork done and laying on the beach perfecting his tan and celebrating Australia Day and so on. Before he left he woke up at three in the morning to stand in line to get into the Price is Right and he appeared 37 times on the show (he was sitting right behing the contestants).

And when I think about all of this I ask myself, "self... what has happened to you?" I know this sounds really stupid, but I have let myself become the one thing I don't want to be. I go to class, go to work, come home and get my chores done, and then I am spent for the night. I wake up the next day and do it all over again. I rationalize before making any decision and miss out on a lot of fun things that way. I used to be the person that would up and go whenever. Ready for anything.

So these past two weeks I have been trying to change back to the old Monaca who loved life and randomeness. Which has been fun, I have ended up on two random two hour road trips. I have been more spontaneous and I have been laughing a lot more. Why aren't more people like this?

Anyway, I know that was a bunch of non-coherent, rambling but... you get the idea.

Blonde joke of the century!!

OK-- I am not a fan of blonde jokes but this one had me laughing all morning -- not even joking... I found it on Julie's blog. To read it, click here.

Heather Cady sent this to me in an email and since I have nothing else to do except for homework (which I have been doing all day)... enjoy.

1. What time is it? 3:51pm
2. Your name: Monaca
3. Nickname: Mon, Mony, Italy
4. Piercing: Lots in my ears
5. What is the most recent movie you've seen in the theatre? I saw Narnia on Christmas
6. Eye colour: hazelish
7. Place of birth: Winfield, IL
8. Favourite foods: Any type of pasta, chicken parmesian
9. Ever been to Africa? No, but some day
10. Ever been toilet papering: yeah, back in the day... which was a wednesday by the way. Any time someone is talking about back in the day it was always a wednesday. Take that home -- chew it. It's delicious.
11. Ever love someone so much it made you cry: What am I? In eighth grade?
12. Been in a car accident: Oh, lets not go there.
13. Croutons or bacon bits: Like all foods, it depends on my mood
14. Favourite day of the week: Saturdays -- I get to sleep in, then Celeste and I make homemade waffles and then Saturday nights Ari and I usually get to go out because neither of us have to work on Sundays.
15. Favourite restaurant: At the moment I am craving Chili's boneless buffalo wings. So I will have to go with Chili's
16. Favourite Flower: White daisy
17. Favourite sport to watch: futbol (aka soccer)
18. Favourite drink: Hot: coffee with baily's irish cremem in it Cold: water
19. Favourite ice cream: Breyer's vanilla bean
20. Disney or Warner Brothers: Disney without hesitation
21. Favourite fast food restaurant: Arby's or Fazoli's
22. What colour is your bedroom carpet: Carpet in my bedroom? that's unheard of! I am a hardwood floors kind of gal!
23. How many times you failed your driver's test: I didn't
24. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail: Ann Milauskas
26. What do you do most often when you are bored? If I am home, I get online and see if Heather or Ann are online. If they are not (which is pretty likely considering the 7-9 hour time differences) then I read or watch a movie or fill out stuff like this...
27. Bedtime: between 11pm and 1am
28. Favourite TV shows? ALIAS
29. Last person you had dinner with? Last night Celeste, Gerry, Josh, Charles, Ari, and I drove two hours to eat dinner at Prime Quarter in Wisconsin
30. Book you've read most recently: The Brothers' K by DAvid James Duncan
31. What are you listening to right now: The Rent Movie Soundtrack
32. What is your favourite colour: Blue and purple
33. How many tattoos do you have? just one
34. How many pets do you have? My fish Vaughn -- but I actually had a dream last night that he die

Jam Off!

I am in a commercial!! I didn't tell anyone this, but when I was in Spain this summer they came out with this great new product called "Jam Off" and Troy and I auditioned for the parts for the commercial and got it! Troy figured out how to post the commercial on his blog so to watch it, click here.

SEVENS

So, Troy tagged me for this a long time ago.... So here are my sevens

Seven Things to Do Before I Die
1- Go to Kenya
2- Write a book
3- Learn sign language fluently
4- Swim with a dolphin
5- Visit every state in the US
6- Run in a marathon
7- Help plant a church

Seven Things I Cannot Do
1- Draw
2- Eat steak (or any meat on a bone)
3- Lie to my mom (not that I really try to...)
4- Flip a skateboard over on a jump and actually land on it
5- Read mystery novels
6- Make homemade meatballs (they never come out right)
7- Fall asleep with a pillow under my head

Seven Things that Attract Me to My Boyfriend
1- His faith
2- He has the utmost respect for women
3- He is spontaneous and random
4- He is witty
5- He has an ability to make whoever he is talking to feel like they are wonderful, even if it's for just that moment
6- His passion
7- He sets goals for himself and doesn't give up on them

Seven Things I Say Most Often
1- No, no
2- Seriously
3- Okay so...
4- Hillarious
5- It was pretty great
6- I'm sorry
7- Pretty much...

Seven Books I Love
1- Brothers' K byDavid James Duncan
2- After Silence by Nancy Raine
3- The Giver by Lois Lowry
4- Lament for a Son by Nicholas Wolterstorff
5- Every Young Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge and Stephen Arterburn
6- A Child Called It by Dave Peltzer
7- Amazing Grace by Jonathon Kozol

Seven Movies I Would Watch Over and Over Again
1- Dead Poets Society
2- Shawshank Redemption
3- Power of One
4- Return to Me
5- Italian Job
6- Pay It Forward
7- Notting Hill

Seven People I Want to Join in Too
1- Ariel Leo
2- Matthew Wendling
3- Mike Clawson
4- Wendy Taylor
5- Julie Clawson
6- Brienne Leo
7- Jodi Ippel

coming alive

My life has been an emotional rollercoaster this month. There have been rejoicing and smiling and tears shed and hurt and love and pain and fear and honor and joy all at the same time. I have been up and down and don't even know where to start.

I started babysitting again. Which has been absolutely wonderful. Nicholas and Michael are great kids and they really keep me going. I will really miss it when they start preschool full time. It almost makes me want to get qualified to be a home school teacher... maybe Andrea would still let me babysit them then... ha, just kidding. Nonetheless, I am completely enjoying the job I have.

My health is almost completely back to normal. I think I am going to start running a short distance tomorrow and then slowly further that distance each day. We shall see how my body handles that. Hopefully I will be able to be back to my normal self by next weekend.

Two weekends ago I went on a ski trip with my family (and by family, I do not mean a single person in my immediate family). I, of course, did not ski; but that ended up being pretty cool anyway because I sat in the bar/lounge all day with uncle tom, aunt cheryl, aunt carol, uncle tony, aunt nettie, and ang playing cards. ALL DAY. It was fabulous. Then at night my cousins and I would come up with fun things to do. Playing hearts, hide and seek, and other crazy games. It was a great trip. The day after we got back from the weekend in Wisconsin, my cousins (Justin, Tommy, Anna, Danny, and I) went over to our grandmother's house and played some cards with her. She took our money (as always). I don't know why we play with her, she always wins... but we love it. That night was really fun but also kind of a sad night. I had to say goodbye to Tommy who went back to school in Miami, Florida. Then I had to say goodbye to Justin who went to Australia for his semester. It was really sad.

I talked to Ann on the phone for the first time! (For those of you who don't know--my closest friend, Ann, left for the Middle East on January 1 to be a missionary.) It was so good to talk to her. She seems to be doing well. We told a lot of stories, laughed A LOT, and cried. It was an emotional phone conversation, but neccesary and wonderful. I miss her a lot. It's not really that I miss how supportive she was or that I miss telling her everything or that I am really lonely without her (although I miss all of those, I have other good friends that are here for me). I really miss the little stuff. My friendship with Ann was all about the little things. We would tell each other the dumb things we did during the day -- like fall down the stairs or get someone's name wrong or have a funny conversation or spill food on ourselves. We would tell each other all the fun little things we did during the day like play a fun game or run around to the mission impossible theme song or play a trick on a friend. And we would keep each other accountable on everything. I miss that. I miss knowing all the little things that are happening in her life and I hate not being a part of it. So talking to her was good, we shared a bunch of little, unimportant stories that, to us, seemed to be the most important thing in the world. And it was emotional, but wonderful.

Speaking of missing friends... This weekend I went up to Calvin, my old school. I brought my good friend, Brad, because he is thinking about going to school there. I am pretty sure after this weekend he is definitely going to go to school there. We had so much fun. I cannot really express how sad I was to leave behind my friends. It has been hard because lately I have felt like, besides a very select few, my friendships in Chicago have been lacking. I have been hungry for friends who know how to have a good time and know how to be encouraging. My frineds at Calvin are like that, and I miss them. It felt good to be able to laugh all weekend. I feel like I don't laugh very often these days -- which is sad because laughing is what makes me "come alive"

This has been a dry month. Maybe my weekend will be the start of a more uplifting month. Maybe I will be able to come alive... It's a good thing I have such a wonderful, supportive boyfriend...

Eight days

I haven't posted in the last eight days and I feel like I should catch everyone up on my week.

Christmas was wonderful. I celebrated Christmas on the 24th with Mom, Dad, Christopher, and Erika. We had a nice brunch, exchanged gifts, and went to my cousins' house for our big LaMonaca celebration. Christmas day was pretty relaxed. God and I got to spend some good quality time together. Justin, Erica, Ari, and I went to see Narnia, which was pretty good!

During the week I wasn't supposed to work (doctors orders) so I basically spent every day with Ann and every night with Ari. So, pretty much a repeat of the week before. I spent a lot of time over at Ann's house--watching her pack, burning her cds onto her laptop for her, opening packages for her, and doing all the little, tedious stuff that she didn't have time to do. It was really great to spend time with her, but so weird. How do you pack for three years? Crazy.

Then on Thursday I got really sick with the flu. It was awful. But I spent all day Friday in bed so that I could go to Ann's going away party. I went and it was good. If you have not yet played the game Apples to Apples, you must. That's all I have to say.

Friday night Ari and I dropped Ann off at her house and I had to say goodbye to her. We cried and hugged and then had a snowball fight. Her last snowball fight for at least three years... It was wonderful. I could not think of a better way to say goodbye. She left for the middle east at 7:30 in the morning on Sunday. I was supposed to pray for her before she left, but when I went to bed I accidently brought my brother's phone upstairs with me instead of mine. So, when she called it didn't wake me up. No one will ever know how sad I that made me.

I still don't know if she made it safely. She had a layover in Boston, then a layover in Germany, then she was landing in the country at 11pm on Monday. She was going to stay overnight in a hotel and then take the seven hour bus ride into the town where she will be living for the next three years. She is probably unpacking her stuff right now. Hopefully we will get an email from her soon.

My new years eve was eventful, but I will have to write about that at another time. I'm sick of typing now.